he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
jump out the window naked night went bad
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
