dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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