I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
