I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
