you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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