So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
