You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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