it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
