I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
