Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's always time for handjobs
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
