Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize