she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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