I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
