I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's never too late to be topless.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
