Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Randomize
