Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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