I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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