Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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