BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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