fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I could fuck to npr.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
