yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
