Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
