so explain again why im purple
no
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
