Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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