he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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