I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize