Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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