how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
