Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
