why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
