I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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