You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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