that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
