You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
