I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
