morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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