You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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