Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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