Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
