I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
