If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
