i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
