I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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