peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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