Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
