Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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