WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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