Jerry, you need to find god
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
