I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
