You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
