evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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