A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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