First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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