The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
