Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
