I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize