operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
