ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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