So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
