I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
