He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
